Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize