I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
