I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
