I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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