yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
