Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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