We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Farmville is her only friend.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
