I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This baby is an asshole
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize