Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
