I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They have beer where we have blood.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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