I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
