But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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