Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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