well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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