You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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