Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
