I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize