Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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