Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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