Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
