I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
