He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
