This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
