i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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