Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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