; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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