i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I had to cum in my sink.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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