white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
