You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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