I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
