Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
