6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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