new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
