i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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