Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
