Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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