yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
