I just saw a hot homeless man
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
