We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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