before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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