I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
