dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize