Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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