it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
