So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
