Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
