Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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