He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
