I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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