I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
