So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
