i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Randomize
