Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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