I'm drive I can fine osifer
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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