i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
