Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
