she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
