There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
