I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
