I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
