Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize