I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
