If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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