At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize