Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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