I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dicks are not precious.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
