After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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