I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
