Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
