i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Randomize
